As Stale (As My Doritos)

I'd like to befriend a woman named Dorito. (cheese flavour) You can just imagine how much fake tan she uses to acheive that crispy glow.

Owned it.

There was one time when Ben Travis appeared on Dragons Den. He was full of hope, walking up those famous stairs, as the narrarator described all his ambitions, then, as he reached the top, all 5 dragons announced "I'm out!" at the same time and-Ben walked straight back down the stairs.

You can imagine the awkward interview with Evan Davis.

Evan: So, Ben, what did the dragons think of your growing business?

Ben: I didn't even get to show them my idea.

Evan: What do you think made the dragons immediatly decide they did not want to be part of your business?

*thinking* Ben: I think it was when I walked up those stairs, and they saw me.

0_0

Akwarrrrrd!

The Adventures Of The Chelsey Under The Table

Oh. Barry's using the chair at the dinner table to rest his laptop on. Where oh where do I sit? Under the table, as I have a new found fondness of it. As soon as I settled down  and went to stroke Eevee (she-I mean he-has a fondness for the table too) she ran to Ben. Because she couldn't bear to be near me. Akwarddd. The hours spent under that table was spent putting my jewellery on Ben's feet hoping he wouldn't notice. Ben: I can feel something tickling my feet. Me: *quickly puts earrings behind my back* what??? look I'm not holding anything. Ben: oh ok then Me *goes back to putting the jewellery on his feet*
I was also taking off my bracelets, necklace and earrings one by one and passing them up to Ben.

Everyone needs a hobby.

Mum and Dadda arrive back home from the shops.
Mum staring at me. "Chelsey, why are you sitting under the table..?" Me: Uhh, Barry is using the chair and it is rather comfortable under here.
Well, if I was my mum, I would worry too...