Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Kym Marsh Joins The Cast Of Hollyoaks And Other Fake Spoilers

Hello again, invisible reader. I thought I would share with you a dream I had the other night, for an unwanted window into my weird mind. I'm not too sure what causes these dreams exactly, although it's probably due to which TV shows I watch. I shall proceed.

lol why was i talking like that :P yo


Kym Marsh was joining Hollyoaks as Darren's wife. Well, her husband is joining Eastenders. Darren appeared with a guitar, and began to sing "Your Song" by Elton John. (I admit I was watching the Shooting Star episode of Glee) Darren had arranged so that as Kym walked through the village, all of the other characters appeared, singing the song to her, as a nice surprise.

After the song, Darren revealed that it was actually Doug singing his part, and Darren was miming, as he couldn't sing, but Doug had a really nice voice. Kym thanked him, and, later, Kym and Darren were talking in bed, and Doug was lying next to them, asleep. (I have no idea)
Kym was saying to Darren how she wanted to do something nice for Doug, in thanks for the singing. She suggested they pay for him to go on holiday with Ste. In the last dream, I was looking at an album by Lawson, but it turned out to be a collection of every single song they had sang, from every single one of their albums. 
On the front cover, were about twenty band members,  a lot of them were dressed as strange things, such as fruit. One man had fake spikes attached to his chest, so it was clear the dream version of Lawson are quite a zany band. It became apparent that they were a mutant gang who kept stealing things from people, and having no remorse for them.* I told my dad that we need to leave immediately, because the Lawson gang were multiplying, becoming stronger, so our town was in danger. We quickly went to dad's car and he drove away. We reached a round about, but every route Dad tried to go down, there were Lawson duplicates, stealing cars from people, so we were kind of stuck.
At a shopping centre, Lawson were causing chaos; they had even dislocated an escalator. While this was going on, dad and I befriended a little girl who was working for Lawson, so we could get inside information. We were respectful towards her, pretending to be on her side, so that she didn't suspect we were spies. She travelled in a little kiddie car, so she wasn't exactly menacing. Dad and I, along with the little girl, were standing on an escalator, (one that hadn't yet been dislocated) and she told us their plans. Lawson were rapidly multiplying, they had successfully took over the world; it was carnage. 
No one was safe. I thought of all the shopping centres they could have destroyed by now. All the escalators they could have dislocated. Suddenly, I was outside in a field, the Lawson gang were all around. There were lots of red bouncy balls on the grass. I told Lawson to throw them into the air. They would fall down, sure, but I told them to do it any way, since they would be closer to Heaven.
I also threw some of the toys skyward. Of course, they fell to the ground. I picked up a toy, and, before I threw it, I said out loud, "God, please catch this one." I threw the ball into the air, and, sure enough, it never came back down. God had caught it, so I knew he was listening. I kept throwing the toys into the air, and each time, God caught them. They disappeared into the sky, sometimes with a twinkle, like when Team Rocket are blasting off agaiiiiin. There were even eggs on the ground, and I threw them into the air, which would have been a foolish thing to do, if I didn't know they would stay in the sky.
I knew that Lawson didn't stand a chance, knowing God was watching. At one point, a little blonde boy with glasses appeared in his miniature spaceship, and I said "So you're the evil genius I have been working against." Yes, apparently he was the intelligence behind the Lawson gang's plans for world domination. Well, they did have a little girl working for them. The power of faith is what ultimately defeated the Lawson gang. I wonder what the real-life Lawson would think if I told them I defeated their mutant twisted X-Men gang by throwing eggs in the sky.

*Please let me state that I am not implying that the real Lawson are heartless mutants.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Day Of The Triads

I apologize for the short absence from this blog. I was going to do an April Fools blog post, but this whole blog itself is the most unfunny April Fools joke I've seen, so I didn't bother.

Has any one heard about the new Doctor Who episode, Day Of The Triads? Brother Barry told me about it. Apparently, it involves giant tree monsters, like the ones in Lord Of The Rings. While we're on the subject of science-fiction, let's talk about Eastenders. Recent episodes have focused on the upcoming "wedding" between Jack and "Sharon". I think even The Sharon Imposter knew that they would never get married, as she turned up wearing a black dress. Meanwhile Eastenders/The Branning Show decided that they like the formula of having Lauren know a big secret about Max, and the dilemma of whether she should tell her family, followed by a big reveal at Christmas/Any social event for dramatic effect. See Christmas 2007 at the Branning Home. This was before Walford was invaded with even more Brannings, such as Kirsty "Top Hats Are Cool" Branning, and Alice and Joey. Speaking of Joey, this week I really tried to interpret what he was trying to say, as I realised that it could be something really important, but all I heard, was:
Joey: Hi Lauren *mumbles* Where's Alice *mumbles* *indecipherable mumbles* Lauren.

Still, it's progress.
Back in that club that Ronnie And Roxy "Now I'm Written As An Unsympathetic Character So People Will Want Kat And Alfie Back Together" Mitchell/Beale/Cross used to run, Jack and 'Sharon' were nervously getting ready to not get married. I can't even remember what that club is called, so we'll just call it Chez Chez, or The Loft, for convenience. There once was a time when people used to get married in a Church, but apparently, having a wedding in a club is the way to go, now? Of course, the wedding never went ahead, leaving The Sharon Imposter to be consoled by her blonde twin, Tanya. Seriously, when they were wearing their matching (black) dresses, red bouquets, and blonde hair, I thought I was seeing double. 

Elsewhere, in Hollyoaks, Brendan's last week was so good, and the best actors are all the ones involved, Neil Newbon, Emmett Scanlan, Bronagh, Keiron. Now, I am about to share an unpopular and controversial opinion, so if you don't like that, you can stop reading, if you have to. I don't ship Stendan. I know.
Before people start sending hate mail, let me explain. 
Brendan and Ste are both great characters, but I'm just not a fan of them as a couple. I can't really think of specific reasons for it, I've just never been a fan of the pairing. Although, I now see that Ste and Doug didn't really work, but it was funny when Brendan would keep going in the deli to annoy Doug, and practically propose to Ste, but that's just because Emmett is so good at drama and comedy. Ste and Brendan as a couple, however..I've just never liked.

Feel free to correct my opinion over this, as I know there are a lot of Stendan fans. Once again, a gentle reminder: Spam is to be left in the comment box below, thank you.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Special Offer On Horsemeat At Tesco, One Week Only

I have found an old blog post I wrote, so decided to upload it:

I have decided that this post will be co-written by my mum, Ann. So its..Chelsey-Ann and Ann. So it's just like that time when Ben co-wrote a blog post and I co-wrote one of his blog posts, but it's with my mum, not Ben. Okay. Before I begin, here is a small list of people/subjects that will NOT be mentioned in this blog post, as this will be something different:

For once, the main subject will not be about Glee, Sherlock, Cliff Richard, and..well mostly Glee, 'cause this has turned into a Glee blog, so it's time to do something different.

Ann: Hi, my subject of adoration is Donny Osmond and any one who knows me well know how crazy I am about Donny, and have been a fan/friend since my teens and I still love his music today, and his brothers and sister. So I guess this will be about music, as well as The Osmonds, I do enjoy listening to reggae, soul, and a few one hit wonders such as Mud (Lonely This Christmas). One of my favourite (non-Osmond) song is What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted by Jimmy Ruffin, I really love this song, I have done ever since I was a teenager, it really moves me and has a beautiful melody.

Chelsey-Ann: Also can I just say there is another group of talented siblings, with several brothers and a sister who are worth mentioning, and that is R5. Or, as a certain group of people will call them, Ross Lynch featuring R5. But yes, if any one reading, doesn't know who R5 is, it is the Disney Channel star Ross Lynch's band, and they have a new EP. (Titled 'Loud')

Hunter Jumps Out Of A Spaceship Mid-Air Which Then Causes An Explosion That He Somehow Survives, And Other Storylines In Glee That Never Happened

In regards to the title, the other week, I had a dream where The Warblers from Glee had their own spaceship, and they were a group of Astronauts, led by Hunter and Sebastian. In the last episode of the season, Hunter opened the door (which leads to space) and jumped out for no reason. Just as he did, the space ship exploded, and The Warblers escaped by somehow flying through space, avoiding astroids. However, viewers (Ben) were left wondering if Hunter had survived the explosion. Somehow, he did.
It was like musical version of Star Trek. It made no sense, but it was so cool.

Oh, and I had another interesting dream, last night. In the dream, Dainelt was telling me about someone he knew, who was a Barry Gibb superfan. He told me how she would wait outside a place where he sang, every day, hoping to see him. Then I saw Barry Gibb, he had a guitar, and was sitting on a stool, singing a song by Mika. The small crowd that had gathered there, started singing along. Later on in the dream, I was in The Suite Life On Deck, and I was Maddie, and London was next to me. I was emptying her handbag, and inside, were small purses, which held thousands of dollars. I needed the money to buy a windmill.  "There's thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.." I marvelled. For some reason, I decided that it wasn't enough money to buy the windmill, but we took the windmilll any way. Then, London and I were flying on the windmill, just above the ocean, the clear sky and bright clouds above us, as London mimed to "Walking In The Air" as the haunting melody played in the background.
I have no idea.

Here, have a picture of Barry Gibb.

The Vikings Invade Shetland And Other Modern History

Here is my daily/monthly/yearly Eastenders Observation:

(Please feel free to read it in the voice of that man who does the Glee re-cap at the start of each episode)
So here's what you missed on Eastenders: In a surprising turn of events, Tanya decided to go on a date with Phil "I Like Taking Children Away From Their Young Mothers" Mitchell, which in turn, surprised them both when they found out that they like each other, and Tanya took the opportunity to make Max jealous, and threatened The Sharon Imposter, AKA One Half Of The Blonde Twins, that she will tell Jack, her other former husband, that Phil still likes his future wife. The Sharon Imposter was horrified, and angry at her Blonde Twin for interfering. Sharon was even more horrified at her complete personality change. Elsewhere, Ray decided he wanted his character to have a purpose, and tried to help Liam, while Bianca was proud that she is one of the best actresses on the show, while Ofcom received 100000, 000000 complaints due to the distressing scene of Masood and AJ baking a cake for Tamwar. And that's what you missed, on Eastenders!

And now, I leave you with this:
I have no idea who that man is, so I'm afraid I can't comment.
Just go and listen to R5's new EP.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Adventure Of The Flying Crocodile And Gareth Gates's Trip To The Supermarket

Even I, myself, am confused by that title.
It was actually a weird dream I had. Yes I have taken up the hobby of keeping a dream diary, to record these dreams, which usually include The Osmonds starting up a business selling biker jackets, and being unable to escape a room because the creator of Glee was keeping me there, with only Ayeeesha for company.
I almost forgot, here's the Eevee Update:
Eevee is currently settled on a sofa, with a magazine. 

Yeah, that makes it sound like she's human, but..she's not actually reading the magazine, obviously. She's eating the paper.

Here is the daily Ben update: Today and the other day, Ben was helping me with my home school work, so we were doing science experiments, using food, to see, once melted, for example, whether they are irreversible, or reversible processes. In other words, I pretended to learn about thermodynamics while eating chocolate. 

Seeing as I'm writing "Updates", I might as well do an Eastenders update. Here is what has been happening in the show, recently. The Sharon Imposter couldn't decide whether she wanted to marry Phil or Jack, so she went back to Jack. But then she argued with him and told him he can't tell her what to do, and what career to have, and then she almost turned into The Real Sharon, until she forgave Jack. Meanwhile, Kat got angry and yelled at Alfie, saying he's despicable, while she has her 145th affair, and refused to take the blame for any of her actions. Apparently, if you look up the meaning of "hypocritical" in the dictionary, it says Kat Moon.
Also, Cora started being mean to Dot, while her daughter Ava "I Turn Up In Random Scenes, Say Two Lines Of Dialogue, Then Leave" Hartman, went to the Queen Vic with the other women. Also, it was Ian's birthday, which Sharon did not attend. But it makes sense, of course, seeing as it was The Sharon Imposter. Meanwhile, Alice keeps hiding people's shoes behind the sofa, so they can't find them, and Max finally chose which wife he wants to be with, for that week. Kirsty was making an effort to bond with Abi and Lauren, but then Tanya Branning/Cross/Hartman/Beale/Mitchell turned up, and Oscar finally reappered. Talking of the Albert Square Children returning, Bobby came back, on Friday's episode. This was more than a little confusing, as a random boy came into that shop that Denise works in, and I was even more confused when she called him "Bobby." I finally realised that this child was actually Bobby Beale, but of course, he had been recast. Kamil Masood will probably not be seen again, though, since Zainab booked a plane flight within ten minutes of breaking up with Masood, and took Kamil to another country. The plot twist of the week was that..the Masoods remembered Shabnam's existence. DUN DUN DUN.

Normally, I end a post with a picture of Cliff Richard, The Osmonds, or The Bee Gees, but I will be more generous today, and put a pictures of them all.

Oops a picture of Kimberly Whalen somehow ended up in the blog post. Obviously it wasn't on purpous. Apparently, if you type in "most beautiful Actress And Singer" into Google, her name appears. Or at least, it should do.