THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG

Your fabulous fact for the day: Above sentence feautures at least one of all the letters of the alphabet! (now Danny Gibbers* is gonna comment on this saying "I told you that fact you trout!!" maybe without the last part) It also features all the letters needed to spell "Irene". And also "despicable". Make the comparison -_-

Me casually sitting on our leather brown pouffe. 

Benji decides to join me. 

He sits down and I am launched off the pouffe!!! Like a reaction from a see-saw if you imagine, you're sitting on the see-saw and someone sits down on the other end and woahh!! your launched into the air!!! That's what happened to me, several times. 

*Daniel Gibbs. who else?

Choosy: The Real Dark Knight Returns And Other Sequels You Really Didn't Want To See

Ben: Jack Dee with your face like a non-stick frying pan.

What would someone with a face like a non-stick frying pan look like...?

Oh yeah. Look at those gorgous egg eyes. That lovely bacon rasher smile. Those abs! Nah, sorry girls, I haven't got his number.

Well, that was an interesting start to the blog.
Let's play a game! It's called: What's the difference between...?

A spare winter coat and Cliff Richard?
One comes out of the closet, the other stays in.

A telescope and The X Factor?
They are both a way of searching for stars but one only found Jedward.

Handwash And Emmerdale?
One's a soap.

I might carry on this game in future blog posts, it's fun. Just to clarify, they are not to be taken seriously and they are not to cause offence :P (although people get offended by my presence) And anyway, I like Jedward, they're fun. They have big plans.

To take over the worrrrrrlllld.
 

Ben: What are you reading?

Me: Larry Lamb's autobiography. Lawrence Lamb.

Ben: Oh yeah, like Lawrence Leweyn Bowen. He should do a book.

Me: Yeah, he can call it Frills And Spills: My Life As A Decorative Tablecloth.

Err yeah I'm not quite sure how I meant it either. 

Bold!!! We have bold text!!! I didn't ask for bold text. Sort the problem, please. 

My Ruthless Comments! (again, not to cause offence! I like Windows Vista. I found something similar under my nails the other day)

Me: Windows Vista. It's quite funny when you think about it.

Barry: Why is it funny?

Me: Well, Windows Vista is laughable :P

Ben: Chelsey!!!

Me: What? :P I mean, all due respect to the people who made Vista, I mean they were sleeping at the time :)...

Ben: hehe. That's quite good actually.                                                                                                     

Dolly Parton's new romantic single titled: I Wanna Know You're Blood Type                                      

Apparently we are not quite sure of my blood type...yeah :L                                                                  

(I'm pointing a pencil )

Ben: What are you pointing at?

Me: I don't know, anything *shrugs*

Barry: Hehe "you don't know anything"?

Me: I already knew that.                                                                                                                           

Fact of the dayyy:

At Worm Charming Festivals, (I was watching QI the other day :P) people use many different things to charm worms (cutlery, straws, etc) including their breasts.

Works like a charm.

Daniel: (is reading out how many viewers TV shows got) The X Factor got 12 million viewers. The X Men Origins: Wolverine got much less viewers. 

Ben: Really? Chelsey, which one would you rather watch, X Factor in it's new dodgy state, or X Men Origins?

Me: (thinking about when I watched X Men and it was gory) I dunno, they were both quite painful to watch.

Ohhhh people are tutting and saying "what is she talking about?? The X Factor is great, that's just rude"

People find my face rude and innapropriate.

Little Girl On TV Advert is mixing rice krispies in a bowl.

The Mum: What are you making? :)

Girl: Your face. 

The Mum: My face?? You're making my face??

Girl: Yeah! (presents wonderful cereal face) You have a big red nose and you've just walked into a lampost! :)

The Mum: Oh...wow..

Best advert on TV.

There's Only One Bazza (And Apparently He Has A Placenta...?)

Oh. I just looked up "placenta" on Google images. That was...interesting. It really does look like a plate O_o
I'm just gonna go...send the images to companies by email :P cos that's how I rolllll.

Type in "planking", "owling" and "worlds best moustache" into Google. And prepared to be entertaineeed :)

This blog post is dedicated to Baaaazzzza. "Donny Osmond looks like a flapjack that's been roasted for too long" Just one of the gems he has said. At first I was so suprised, I had to check in case mum was listening (mum's a big Donny fan) but I think she was out at the time. Oh. Maybe she heard on the CCTV camera! :O

Donald Clark Osmond

If those words are uttered, you are sure to here mum call "IT'S NOT DONALD, IT'S DONNY!!" (today, I almost expected mum to roar...that's how serious it is)
Yeah she prefers him to be called Donny :P

That's why I keep calling him Donald.


Barry says DONALD looks like Stefan Dennis. Mum retorts: I think Stefan has a *few* more wrinkles than Donny!!! look at his forehead!! Donny is very good looking *phh* How could Stefan look like Donny!

Mum was never one to hold back on opinion.

I was wearing my black stiletto boots ;) These boots are made for waaallkinggg...all over youuu!! (Hey, I was singing it to the floor! duh!)
(Marion over the tannoy at Morrisons) Daniel Gibbs you are needed at the Fiesty Cougar counter straight away. I repeat, Daniel Gibbs you are needed at the Fiesty Cougar counter. Thank you.

Daniel: oh great not the cougars again.
is pulled in by vulture like creatures
Dazza: noooo!!! don't let them take me!!! im so young!!!

Marion: They're cougars, that's exactly the point.

Barry Luke Stuart,

may you remain....

A frother, forever.

Is There A A.K. Spud Me Here?? Can A A.K. Spud Me Please Report To The Dry Kitchen Area. Thank You.

A.K. Spud Me, you are needed in the Dry Kitchen area, please report to the checkout. Respect. Yes, this is a introduction to the security guard in a certain famous supermarket chain where my brother Daniel "I've Got A Bone To Pick With You-And It's Not About Your Wooden Acting Or Lip Syncing Gibbs works. Wow, no wonder the shop only calls him by his first and last name over the tannoy. "Daniel Gibbs you are needed at the checkout to insult a celebrity who has had botox/plastic surgery/has presented a TV show on ITV/ thinks they can not act very well/sing very well/present very well/ mimes to songs/is a one hit wonder/is not a fan of/has not sung with/ dislikes the BeeGees. I repeat Daniel Gibbs you are needed to the-" STOP! Don't repeat it tannoy lady, it will take you half an hour. "checkout. Thank you." Anyway, moving on, Daniel often sees Mr Spud Me at work. He even said that if I see A.K. Spud Me when I go shopping I can chat to him. I think he is hiding from me. I haven't seen him in the shop! well I hope I do soon. Some days stay goooooollllld forever! Oops, don't think I should be singing The Wanted song. Daniel might make a snide remark about boy bands. Oh, please go to www.celebratearcades.com , my brother The Bee Gee Superfan's website, for news, updates and polls on arcade and video games. Enjoy! *points are racking up* Yep, Daniel keeps track of how many points I gain, until I have enough to redeem for Bee Gee related merchandise. So points are usually earnt by giving honest compliments to the famous, wonderful, fantastical singers/entertainers/song writers/people/ band that is the Bee Gees, though I'm sure plugging Danny's website  will get me in his good books. Speaking of getting in peoples good books, Barry dosen't do any favours when he starts comparing celebs. Barry: Oh look it's Donny Osmondo, or should I say, Stefan Dennis. Mum: What!!! Erm, Stefan has a few more wrinkles than Donny, I don't see the likeness. Barry: Hehe, that one from Brotherhood Of Man looks like a Bee Gee. Daniel: *dosen't say anything* (which says everything) Me: Oh dear... Barry: The Bee Gees are like, in their 70's! Or 80's! Me: Don't say that!! They are much younger!! Retract that comment before Daniel hears! Daniel: *carries on typing on his iMac* No wonder Barry is into his minuses on his points. I've just realised, where have the people who make snide comments on my blog go to?? "oh oops, we were just making some calls, arranging piano tuning" Oh I see, carry on. "We already are." Hmm. "Uh, hello mate, just, uh calling for your, er half yearly piano fixing, what time can I come round?? Tuesday ok? Yeah? Oh, this is Dave's missus? Alright then love, we'll go round Tuesday in the morning to fix Dave's grand one. Alright, see ya." Contrast to my dads piano tuning calls. Dad: They are not taking my customers. It's ok, they won't. *Daniel watches TV show about boy band Blue performing for Eurovision* Daniel: Phh! They haven't been going for ten years. Huh! They sound the same as other bands. Hmmm, they need to put effort in their song more. Well, they are all set to come last! *Blue members run up to Robin Gibb and hug him* Daniel: Vote for Blue.