There's Only One Bazza (And Apparently He Has A Placenta...?)

Oh. I just looked up "placenta" on Google images. That was...interesting. It really does look like a plate O_o
I'm just gonna go...send the images to companies by email :P cos that's how I rolllll.

Type in "planking", "owling" and "worlds best moustache" into Google. And prepared to be entertaineeed :)

This blog post is dedicated to Baaaazzzza. "Donny Osmond looks like a flapjack that's been roasted for too long" Just one of the gems he has said. At first I was so suprised, I had to check in case mum was listening (mum's a big Donny fan) but I think she was out at the time. Oh. Maybe she heard on the CCTV camera! :O

Donald Clark Osmond

If those words are uttered, you are sure to here mum call "IT'S NOT DONALD, IT'S DONNY!!" (today, I almost expected mum to roar...that's how serious it is)
Yeah she prefers him to be called Donny :P

That's why I keep calling him Donald.


Barry says DONALD looks like Stefan Dennis. Mum retorts: I think Stefan has a *few* more wrinkles than Donny!!! look at his forehead!! Donny is very good looking *phh* How could Stefan look like Donny!

Mum was never one to hold back on opinion.

I was wearing my black stiletto boots ;) These boots are made for waaallkinggg...all over youuu!! (Hey, I was singing it to the floor! duh!)
(Marion over the tannoy at Morrisons) Daniel Gibbs you are needed at the Fiesty Cougar counter straight away. I repeat, Daniel Gibbs you are needed at the Fiesty Cougar counter. Thank you.

Daniel: oh great not the cougars again.
is pulled in by vulture like creatures
Dazza: noooo!!! don't let them take me!!! im so young!!!

Marion: They're cougars, that's exactly the point.

Barry Luke Stuart,

may you remain....

A frother, forever.

A Furry Foreign Secretary And the Lonely Mustard Yellow

Irene Fisher has a new child. At the age of 69. Why not? I'll tell you why not, she's more interested in rabbits than humans that's why not! She dosen't have a partner. And she is banned from keeping bunnies as pets. Wonder why... So anyway, I do not know the gender or name of the child yet, let alone how she became pregnant. Or maybe she adopted? Of course, it is possible to have a child of that age, perhaps with IVF but she is not with anyone. She is divorced and this blog is getting too serious!! WHAT IS HAPPENING! But seriousy, I will support Irene in what she does. Apart from with the rabbits. That's just weird. I'm writing a storyyyyyy based on Yes, Prime Ministerrrrr but with animalsssssss and with Eeveeeeee as a furry foreign secretaryyyyyy, oh yeah, I want it to be epic!
Reader: "Yyyy" are you adding all those extra letters? lol Me: Cos you are a frother.
I'm so polite to my readers.
My swaggers in check! swagger jagger, swagger jagger, you should get some of your own. Word.

Want a word? Here's one: Moist.  See, that sent shivers down your spine. Admit it.
I have been doing serious crafting. Lettuce have a look at what this here person has made so far:
Bag, made out of a jean pocket, with the word "Babe" written in glitter, with a bead handle
Ring, with the band made out of plaited yarn, and gems on top of a heart. Which comes with a
bracelet, the chain is crochet, with a yellow flower and garden insect detail
Knitted cake, with pink "icing" and flower detail
Necklace, which is 3 crochet chains plaited together with pom pom detail
Gadget case, which is knitted in purple and lilac, secured with a button
BABUSHKA felt doll, with gems and embroidery

AND I AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON A FLUFFY AND SILKY BELT. WELL JEL? YOU WILL BE ;)
joke and why has the caps lock come out -_-

Mum bought a painting by numbers kit. Where you get several cute little paint pots to make a picture of two dogs and a cat. For some reason one of the yellow shades keeps deciding it does not want to be confined to numbers and borders and regularly comes out the packaging. We just can't help feeling sorry for it, alone, from it's colourful friends, while Ol' Yellow seems destined to be accidently poured into a English Mustard bottle. So we pick it up, put it next to it's arty mates, back inside the packaging. Where it's left to dream about the outside world and at least, no longer the lonely mustard yellow sitting alone, instead, left to flirt with the spritly pink next to him.

YoUr ThOuGhT oF tHe DaY:
Potatoes are probably the most chilled out food. They just sit there, in the mud, not bothered about having a luxury growing area (unlike those big lettuce leafs you stuff food in, with there "packaging" and "diet frendly wrap foods" and their "beautifully curled leafyness", I mean they just get everything handed to them on a plate, don't they?) or having champagne sprayed on them instead of water (yes, spinach, I am talking about YOU) because potatoes are relaxed, easy to please garden dwellers who don't care whether you mash them, boil them, fry them, turn them into wedges, microwave them or whatever.
Cos their swagger's in check.

The Beegees Fly-Tipping In Vancouver? Whatever Next!

I haven't updated or a while, I'm sure you've noticed. Thats because I have been doing stuff! Remember that thing, doing stuff, where you engage in actual activities? No? Ok then. Anyway, my little nostrils, I'm sure you've heard about the Beegee's fly tipping. I know! Rascals. It was Robin Gibb who started it, he just wanted the Fly's to have more money. So what have you been up to? Stuff? Just chillin' with yo home dogs by the fridge? The bare fridge? That's nice. No I am not making fun of your accents. Anyways so I have been doing lots of stuff, so let  me list them for you.....Going to Mason's house: Yep I go round my friends house. Painting in the garden with the Bazza and the Ben: It was such a lot of fun!! We found slugs that look like Ben and we found the Labour MP's as bugs!! Did you know Ed Milliband was a earwig? Actually, don't answer that. Getting 100 followers on Twitter: Yep, thats right! But then 3 people unfollowed me...Mind you, I unfollow people if they post rude things and so on. Reaching my 500th frother: This was so exciting!! I have only been doing frothers for a few months and this is a real achevment!! And I have been doing lots of other stuff and I suggest you do to! Try it, instead of staring at my blog in the hope that I might post a blog. So get out there and do something fun!! Or relax with a book! What you wanna do. You know, I am easily amused. Very easily. You know that thing you can do with your mouth (not frother) and it goes "bbbbbbb"?You know what I mean? Well I did that and it felt like I was almost flying. It amused me, I was like "bbbbbbb. Hahaha I almost took off!" LOL And last night, whilst playing Pokemon trading card game with the Ben and the Bazza, I decided to amuse us with some jokes. I found some in The Sun newspaper, such as "I went to college dressed as 3 different people, on the third time, they gave me the third degree" and "Then I went to Tesco and saw a man and a woman wrapped up in a barcode. I said are you a item?" Hahaha. Then I reeled off jokes I had heard such as "A seal walked into a club" and "A mushroom goes to a bar and the barman says you can't come in here and the mushroom says why not I'm a fun guy" What? I couldn't think of anything else! I had to make up my own joke at around 10:00pm: "Mr McDoodle says to Ewan McGregor so do you come here often?" LOL do you get the joke?? I think its quite funny!! And it's quite clever. So you see, this is the time to do simple things, that  you enjoy, things  that amuse you, just spend some time with family, friends and frothers. I know I am. Have fun!
12:00 midnight: Me: haha he says "do you come here often?" hehe. Ben: I still don't get the joke.

I Want To Break Free! I Want To Break Freeeee! And Other Songs

I haven't blogged for a while. Oops. Well I'm sure you've noticed! I'm sure while I haven't been blogging you have been living your life!!! Well that's good for you. Barry on the other hand has been like a mushroom awaiting to be peeled while there has been no blog updates. Ok well I am about to watch Glee. I know what your thinking "*snigger* She is way too immature to watch that!" And you would be right. I am about as mature as MY FROTHER. But I can watch Glee. Anyway how have you been? What's up? You finished your list yet for the "100 Reasons Why We Should Snigger At Chelsey In Public"? Oh I see there are too many reasons to list. Well I have been fine thank you. Very fiiinneee. Why does no one ask how my frother is? How do you think he feels? He dosen't just sit there, with his upturned lips staring at you like something out of those music videos by those singers you have only just discovered that happen to make "unique peices" That is what they would call they're weird videos. Oh it's the next day now. That was strange. OK then... I haven't rode my scooter for a while. I rode it once, on the way to the library. I was like "I want to ride my scooooter, I want to ride my scoot. I want to ride my scoooterr I want to ride my scoot. SCOOOOTER! SCOOOOTER!" and then I fell down, bumped into some people, I heard some sniggering, and I just got back into the car and thought "I am not good at riding my scooter" At laaasssttt my love has come along....my lonely days are, over and LIFE IS LIKE A dreeam. And then A.K.Spud Me who works in Morrisons with my brother comes on and starts rapping to another song. I am, of course, talking about the T-Mobile Airport advert. great ad. Ahhh, A.K.Spud Me. Interesting fellow. Once he built a tunnel from Morrison's to our window and he came in through our window into our bathroom and he was shaving and he got shaving foam on my toothbrush and I was like "eeewww" and it was awquard because I was in the bathroom and he was in the bathroom. And he happened to see me when I was in the middle of my nostrils enlarging as I was doing my victory call. I did that because when I brushed my teeth the toothpaste didn't spill! Result! And that, my friend, is one of life's little wins.

Love Is In The Air...Love Is In Pete's Hair

It sounds strange saying Pete's name without saying Sponge. They belong together. There might be a romance brewing. I've just realised, it's 2011 now. Cool! I've got a scooter now. Yep. I fell over. I fell over. uh uh uh. But I got back up again. Yes I did. uh uh uh, uh uh uh. And people were sniggering at me. Yeeesss. So it is almost Valentines Day. All the lovely heart shaped gifts in the shops. I know what your thinking "she will never get a Valentines card!! *snigger snigger* *laugh* *frother frother*" but I am used to it.I always imagine people snigger at me. I'm on MSN...Barry has his hood on...people keep saying "lool" to me...I'm talking to Matthew on MSN...uh uh uh. I don't know what to say. I could say a lot of things, but I have forgotten them now. Just seen the title. Does Pete have hair? Ooh Matthews replied to me. Bear with me a minute. OK he's going now. Don't have anything to say to you now. When I was much younger I got a Valentines card from someone at school. And he is male. He wrote "I like you, Dear Chelsey, From (his name)" How sweet. Awww. That was years ago. Not a card adorned with a heart has arrived to me since. I'm so excited! And I just caaaaan't hide it! I know, I know, I know, I want you, I want you! Sponge wants to use the computer now. Awww she's such a cute little metaphor.

The Arrival Of Pete & Sponge

Sorry I haven't done a blog post for a while. I have been doing lots of things. And I suggest you do too instead of staring at this website all day in the hope that I might do a new post. Well you have got your wish. Now every day at random intervals my brothers hear a "uh uh uh" sound coming from me. That is because of my friends Pete & Sponge. They used to live in a cave. They are 3 years old but adults in our years. I don't actually know what species they are. Pete is the more human one and he was found pouring sticky toffee sauce over Sponge, which suggests Sponge is less human. I would say they are just metaphors but they do exist. We get Eric popping round too. He is our hiccups. Yep. I'm quite fond of Pete & Sponge. I know Pete is male but I'm not sure what gender Sponge is. There may be a thing going on betwen Pete & Sponge so I might set them up on a date on Valentines Day. Right well that's my news. Just talking to my brother on MSN. Why don't I just speak to him as he's right next to me? Well unless my NECK can stretch a 100 miles from home, I have to talk to him online! Sorry for that. Had an interesting discussion about a Nipple Club yesterday. Can males join too? Maybe. la la la la la laaaaa la la laaaa. Yes. Just answering Barry. I'll check. No. Wow! uh uh uh, uh uh uh. FROTH froth to the e to the rrrr. FROTH. Ben has one breast smaller than the other. He told me yesterday. He needs to pump it up to balance it out. la la la uh uh uh, uh uh uh. Eevee! There's our wonderful bunny. So much joy in her eyes. Barry can you read this blog post please? Spell Check... Chosey! Chosey! Blog is a word thank you spell check. Your living in the past, spell check!